Car Geek Humour #0001

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I was talking to my friend Jeremy about the new twin clutch BMW M DCT that will make it’s debut in the new BMW M3.

Jeremy:
So, now I’m wondering about this gearbox, how much does it weigh, particularly. It’s specifically labelled “M”. Does this mean there’ll be a plain ‘DCT’ for regular BMWs?

Paul:
Maybe.

Jeremy:
And I know DSG is heavy… so… how much heavier is this compared to the manual?

Paul:
The DSG is like 3 times heavier man.

Jeremy:
Yeah, that’s why I say I’ll buy manual if I buy a GTI or whatever, in any case DSG probably gets boring after a bit, initially damn syiok, but then…

Paul:
Dude, KL traffic is horrible

Jeremy:
Fair enough. Anyway, the M guys don’t compromise much on weight.

Paul:
To the extent of using midget-sized brakes.

Jeremy:
So… how light is this ‘box? And is this the end of SMG?

Paul:
Of course.

Jeremy:
And BMW’s use of the torque converter?

Paul:
1 clutch? Pfft. Next Lexus will come out with a 3 clutch gearbox.

Jeremy:
Hahahahaha!

Paul:
Then Mercedes Benz will come out with a 4 clutch, then Lexus responds with 5…

Jeremy:
I was thinking… one day will we have a gearbox with the same number of clutches as ratios muahaha!

Paul:
Instead of individual throttle bodies, we’ll have individual gear clutches

Jeremy:
Instant shiftdown from any gear to any gear. Yeah. That would be darn heavy.

Paul:
The gearbox would have to be towed behind the car like a caravan.

Jeremy:
For 50-50 weight distribution.


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About the Author

After dabbling for years in the IT industry, Paul Tan initially began this site as a general blog covering various topics of personal interest. With an increasing number of readers paying rapt attention to the motoring stories, one thing led to another and the rest, as they say, is history. An avid electronic gadget aficionado as well as big-time coffee lover, he's also the executive producer of the Driven motoring TV programme.

Comments

  1. Kevin Lee says:

    lol, love the take on that, by then, the car itself would weigh like a lorry, for having a super DCT, with 5 clutches or more

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  2. maru says:

    nuts

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  3. Cire says:

    If the advantage ratio is higher than the cost, looking at other materials to build the gbox would come into mind. Usage of titanuim or light alloy for example. It may not be far fetched, as most engine now are either plastic clad, or alloy cast block. Internals are made finer thus reduce vibration, which enable the use of thinner and lighter materials.

    As the amount of torque will equals tonnes of forces, that technology of finding the right material would be somehow trying.

    But its not impossible.

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  4. aesthari says:

    Haha, not entirely imposibble, having clutches for all ratios, but my guess is that the engineers will most probably come up with better solutions before that happens. Or maybe CVT will take over.

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  5. albagmane says:

    i tot the jeremy is jeremy clarkson when i read the dialouge! haha!

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  6. tokmoh says:

    It's Jeremy Mahadevan I suppose. Lucky @$$ always get to go to Europe for new BMW launches etc :P .

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  7. e-nabilll says:

    feels like reading a movie script….!

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  8. kei9 says:

    albagmane said,

    May 31, 2007 @ 11:51 am

    i tot the jeremy is jeremy clarkson when i read the dialouge! haha!

    hahah! dhen paul is so lucky to talk wit JC hahaha! its Mahadevan!

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  9. ingolstadt says:

    Jeremy:

    For 50-50 weight distribution.

    ____________________________________

    GOLD

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
  10. kei9 says:

    then……diamond is better la…..perfect 50:50 distribution.

    Reply Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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